There is much to be said about having an ordinary life. Ordinary in the sense of balanced, not disastrous, not crazy successful. Just one day at a time of comfortable normality. Days like today I work, exercise, do some housework, cook, shop, maybe even sew or knit a little. It’s undramatic. A pottering sort of life.

I have come to realize that the pattern of ordinary days brings contentment. Simplifying those days and eradicating the hectic as much as possible gives me the time and space to be happy. Not a wild dancing on the table happiness. But a warm deep uncomplicated acceptance that this is my life and I like it how it is. Maybe difficult times in the past help me to appreciate what I have. I know from experience that there will be difficulties ahead, with health, aging parents or just generally with things beyond our control going horribly wrong. Somehow that knowledge means that I appreciate more the days when things just carry on and are undramatic and fairly predictable.

Have I achieved all that I set out to achieve in my life? I still have dreams (writing a novel, remember?), but they are mostly fairly achievable with a bit of work. No more pie in the sky aspirations. Many of the dreams that I had when I was younger have been dumped along the way. I don’t want to run a major corporation or compete in the Olympics. I’d just like to stay healthy and be able to raise my kids to be civilized balanced and happy people. With ordinary lives….

I almost feel sorry for people who really do believe they can do it all and have it all. You can’t, you know. Someone always pays.

My life is unspectacular. I’m lucky enough to live somewhere very beautiful, but my wants and needs are modest and above all I value having time for the things that are important to me and my family. Right now I’m investing a lot of time working with my son who sometimes finds school pretty tough.  I’m so glad that I can be there for him when he needs me. I can’t imagine what would happen if I wasn’t here. Maybe one of his sisters would step into my shoes, but that would be expecting a lot from them.

I realize that I am very, very lucky because I’ve been able to work freelance from home for years – so I’m always here when I’m needed. And hopefully not too stressed. That doesn’t work for everyone I know and I do appreciate it, believe me. Also I’m happy in my own company, so being home all day doesn’t mean I’m climbing the walls. But I did have to make changes to get to where I am, and I did have to swallow some pride.

I think it was worth it.

There’s a lot to be said for ordinary days.

Helen

Once in a blue moon I have fabric that I just know right from the bat how to use. Happy Mochi Yum Yum is one of those fabrics.

So rather than dither on about how to use my French fabrics or the yummy retro ones, I’m making zig-zags with Happy Mochi.

I actually had a free pattern from the fabric company for said zig-zags, but when I looked at it, I discovered that it’s huge (8in x 4in) bricks that make up the zig-zags. Not for me I’m afraid….

So I cut out 3 in squares, drew a line down the middle and did 1/4 in. seams either side of the line. Once sewn, the squares come out at 2 inches….which does of course mean that this quilt is going to take for ever and a day to make. I really like the little zig-zags though, and that’s really what matters isn’t it? The fabric is fun and the pattern is really a perfect way to use it up!

I’m having a few warping issues – mainly because my machine is being a bit of a madam today and doesn’t like the thread or the fabric or something, so it’s pulling everything a little too tight. I’m working round it, but I think on the next batch I cut I may cut 1/2 larger and then trim everything down so the squares really are square. A bit of a waste of fabric I know, but I think it might make life easier.

I have no idea how big this is going to end up – i’ll just keep going till the fabric or my patience runs out. So far I’m enjoying myself, but I’m not going anywhere fast!!

Helen

Today it’s rainy and cool in my part of Switzerland…and the rest of the family are busy doing all sorts of stuff where my presence is neither needed nor desired. Isn’t that lovely?

So I shall knock off the ironing for starters and then I think a gentle afternoon listening to Wallender on my i-pod and pottering with some sewing is called for. Absolute bliss! Of course there are lots of other things that I should be doing, but I think the ironing might well serve to assuage all feelings of guilt in that direction.

I’m still dithering on the new project front – well there’s a surprise! That might lead me to head for my happy Mochi Yum Yum fabric, because at least I know what I’m going to do there. I also pulled out one of my long outstanding WIPs…June Bug (Camille Roskelley) using fabric which I think may be by Kate Spain, but I really don’t know anymore (can anyone out there help me?). It’s well on the way and isn’t a pattern that will take a lot of making, but somehow I’m just not feeling the love anymore. I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it either and I’m kind of getting the feeling that the colours are a little sad.

Part of me is saying ‘stop, be bold and pack it in’, but that’s so hard to do sometimes with a pattern that’s half made. What would you do? The good little girl in me says I have to finish it …which all harks back to having a mother who grew up in the war and always, always made me finish what I started. I still haven’t managed to break away from this ingrained brainwashing – where it involves books or food or projects or whatever….you’d think by the ripe old age of nearly 49 I’d have managed, wouldn’t you?

What would you do?

Oh….and a last peek. Jo, my name swap partner for the FQ Retreat, received her name tag this week, so I think that means that I can show you too! (Thankfully she liked the bling!)

Have a nice weekend,

Helen

This is my first quilt – begun in San Francisco in 1990 and finished in Zürich in 1993. I hand quilted it and really truly spent three years on the endeavour. I still love it, but live in dread of having to wash it as in my ignorance I didn’t pre-wash the red fabric and I just know that it isn’t going to prove to be colourfast 🙁

If I add together the hundreds of hours that I spend making a quilt and even at minimum wage evaluate what this is worth, my quilts start to reach the value of the Mona Lisa. Over the last few years though, I have come to the conclusion that whatever else I could have done with that time, time spent quilting is time well spent. Quilting has serious mental health benefits. Maybe it isn’t so beneficial for my eyesight or my back problems, but, when it comes to maintaining my sanity, boy it’s right up there!

When my children were very small and I lived in a chaotic haze of exhaustion and small-child related mess, ten minutes snatched quilting time before bed or when the kids were napping was enough to reassure me that there was still life out there. I drew enormous amounts of satisfaction from a few inches of fresh quilting. Those inches were the measurement of what I had done for myself that day.

Now life has calmed down a lot; the kids are in school and I can claim an hour or two of quilting in between the ballet run and the fencing club. It still feels good, but maybe it isn’t the snatched lifeline that it once was. Life is still busy, but in a different way, and I have come to value that quilting keeps my feet right on the ground. Nowadays, my days are characterized by the multitasking required of the modern mom. The joy of quilting is that it refuses to be multitasked and that for once I have to slow right down and luxuriate in being able to concentrate on just one thing!

I need to take a step out of the hectic modern world of instant gratification –– to do something that is creative, but won’t necessarily be done by the end of the afternoon. Time spent quilting is a treat and not an obligation – and quilting by hand or stippling on the machine is really rather like meditation. The slow repetitive movement is both soothing and calming. I have to concentrate enough to keep the stitches even  and my mind just automatically slows down. The only thing I can actually manage to do at the same time as quilting is listening to an audio book or the radio. I reckon that makes quilting one of the best relaxation exercises around.

I hope that when I make a quilt for someone, they realize how much of my life has gone into it and of course I expect my quilt to be the one item they would rescue out of a burning house. I hope, and tell my children frequently, that my quilts are heirlooms, which they must treasure and pass down to their children and grandchildren – never forgetting of course to tell them of the wonderful woman who made it. Is quilting my route to immortality? Maybe it’s the best chance I have.

A little regular quilting does more for my psychological well-being than almost anything else I know. Now when I come to think of it, adding up the hours of therapy I have saved, maybe my quilts don’t seem so expensive after all.

Helen

Left to my own devices I am a tidy person. I dream of no clutter, a house full of simple, elegant, useful things (In white and muted shades…). Days when I do not look around me  overwhelmed by the feeling of too much to do, too little time, sinking into the chaos. Serenity….peacefulness…calm…..

Looking at my home you would probably never realize this, not even a little bit, not even on a good day. Well, that probably isn’t quite true – in certain rooms (our bedroom, my office), where my rule more or less holds sway, a superficial glance would tell you that it looks OKish. Dig a little below the surface anywhere in the house though and you would be completely horrified at the amount of STUFF that we have accumulated. I am horrified and I was the one responsible for putting most of it there.

The problem I think, is that I live with 4 other people, all of whom are messy and all of whom like to hang on to things just in case. I know what I would like to do, but throwing away other people’s stuff is a tricky one, which could lead to the breakdown of family life as we know it. Or even worse, mum climbing through the big garbage bins trying to locate that critical note from a boyfriend. I know how I would feel if someone just decided that my fabric stash had gone a little beyond levels of normality, so I do understand…, sort of. The problem though is that I have now reached the stage where I feel so overwhelmed by it all that a huge scream is welling up inside me every time I as much as look at my cellar or the kids’ rooms or the kitchen or even our walk-in closet. And once that scream gets out, well frankly I have no idea how to stop it.

I do sometimes make a mad dash round with a black garbage bag on mornings when it is particularly dire. I try to pick up things whose absence I don’t think will be noticed and hope that miraculously this will lead to a transformation. (Needless to say, it doesnt…) I do threaten my children with no TV (even more no TV), no meeting friends until the mess is dealt with. They do scrape the surface a little, but I think we may have reached the stage where it is almost impossible to do the rest.

I know the answer – I know in my heart of hearts that I just have to knuckle down to it and take a room at a time and just do it.  Everything not used within the last year….nadanadanada. Right now I seem to be unable to even decide which room to tackle.

Is it spring? or hormones? Is anybody out there feeling this  need for simplicity and organisation? Or even just the need to open a cupboard without everything falling out on your head? Should I just wait until they all grow up and move out? I suspect that the mess will not go with them. Whatever I decide I am going to lose 4:1…

If you’re out there in cyberland reading this, please tell me the answer….

I’m meditating on this picture today – trying to obtain some internal zen and distance myself from domestic non-zenicity. I am that sea gull……I’m on a Scottish island….and there isn’t any stuff….

Wishing you zen in your life this week