No bikinis for me!
I hereby declare that I will not be wearing a bikini in the near future. (Actually it’s fair to say that as I haven’t worn a bikini for many a long year anyway, that train may have left the station forever).
Right now I’m actually tempted to wear a burka.
Why?
I am black and blue all over. (And it is not a pretty sight!).
It is bad enough that 3 1/2 weeks on I still have a partially blue boob after the biopsy from hell. To add to this though I had a little adventure in the dark in the woods on Friday. Well you do, don’t you? But before you start to worry, I have to tell you that it was all self inflicted.
The ladies and I were out for an early morning run on Friday morning. As our kids are all older now we’ve moved our start time to 7.30 instead of 8.15 (which it had been for the last 10 years). What we hadn’t quite factored into the equation is that it’s not completely light at that time of the morning in late October. Anyway, we set off happily as we always do – full of discussions of signing ourselves up for races and setting ourselves some training goals (we’ve got a bit lazy on that front over the past year or so).
The woods were lovely, peaceful and quiet with a beautifully lethal covering of golden beech leaves all over the path…..
…which resulted in my foot cleverly locating a hole that my eyes couldn’t see (and I was honestly too busy chatting to be looking much anyway) and I went very spectacularly t over a. Boy, did I come a cropper. I haven’t done that for years – or at least not quite so dramatically. So now I have shredded knees (and wish I had been more sympathetic to my son when he was a little boy and did the same – they HURT! – not to mention the fact that getting up and down stairs is a nightmare), around the shredded parts they are also blue and swollen, my ankle is twisted and my foot is bruised, I have a large bruise on my hip (not even sure how that hit the ground!) and a scraped and bruised arm.
In truth, dear reader, I am a mess.
(And that is leaving aside the grey hair and wrinkles).
I actually feel like I have been run over by a steam roller. It is not a good feeling. There is way too much blue everywhere for my liking and I’m not happy that I shredded my nice running tights.
I’ve been sewing to cheer myself up – although these Flying Geese for a Stitch Tease bee block for Jennifer have seriously challenged my stash. Raspberry and gold are not in great supply round here..which could actually be regarded as a positive sign that perhaps things aren’t as out of control as I’d thought.
In any case it is appropriately soothing…as is chocolate…and gin…and a liberal dose of Strictly…
I’m also comforted by the fact that none of you can see me. The kids’ comments are bad enough and I’m not going to tell you what dear husband said. Enough to say that sympathy has never really been his forte.
Until next time when hopefully I will look a little more presentable,
Helen
PS To all the Brits out there – I hope you have battened down the hatches and get through the storm OK.
October 27th, 2013 at 9:04 pm
Oh, what a mean family! Dose up on the chocolate and gin and ignore them all š Hope you’re feeling better soon!
October 27th, 2013 at 9:50 pm
Oh dear you have been in the wars! Hope you’re all mended soonest and in the mean time you need lots of treats!
October 27th, 2013 at 9:58 pm
Oh Helen you are in the wars! I have been thinking of you and wanted to pen you a quick note to say how pleased I was that your health scare had a positive outcome (ironically we are in the midst of yet another toddler temperature which is why I didn’t get around to it). I hope your shredded knees heal soon – I remember doing something similar (slipping on wet leaves) in 6th form and I still have the scars to prove it.
I am with you on the bikini boat having sailed – I haven’t tried one on since the girls were born but I don’t think I need to – it would only confirm what I can picture in my head and it’s not something I am willing to inflict on unsuspecting beach-goers!
Put your feet up and enjoy Strictly. Perhaps someone is trying to tell you that Autumn is for cosying up in a comfy chair with a mug of hot chocolate, not running in the woods š
October 27th, 2013 at 10:23 pm
Oh bugger!! Stop feeding the family. I knew running was an extreme sport! LOL Mind you I went for a 5km walk yesterday & have the achilles tendons from hell!! Am having to walk around in a wedge heel to alleviate the pain :/
Let’s hope this is “rock bottom” & the only way is up š
Wind has been building all day but is expected to peak in the early hours.
Take care
Lush x
October 27th, 2013 at 10:55 pm
Helen, I agree with all the above. Stop feeding the family immediately, ensure a decent supply of alcohol, chocolate and Strictly within arm’s reach – and perhaps a lovely hot bath at some point, again with all of the above – perhaps not Strictly though – and keeping the knees out. Re the bikini – throw it out of the window. Not enough fabric to feel comfortable in – does anyone ever relax in one or are you constantly wondering whether it’s going to keep you decent even when just walking – heaven forbid swimming in one! Take care š
October 27th, 2013 at 11:07 pm
Oh my word! I’m so sorry you’re hurt. And grateful you didn’t hit your head and do lasting damage. Even if you won’t show us what you look like, you should take some photos anyway, and pull them out for a future time when you’re needing something to be thankful for… š
October 28th, 2013 at 12:17 am
So sorry to hear of your misadventure and I can so relate. The last fall I took ended up with a scraped knee and broken finger (right hand no less).
Take care of all your aches and pains – I think the treatment you’ve prescribed for yourself will help but a bit of sympathy from the family would not be amiss – never mind you’ve got your blog pals who commiserate with you.
October 28th, 2013 at 12:23 am
Oh dear, Buy Arnica (200c) immediately and use it right at the time of a fall or the surgical invasion. Keep it with you. It’s good that you can sew though….and sip chocolate and gin. The worst is that bruises take forever to diminish. Pamper yourself ( no one else will do it ) and get well soon.
October 28th, 2013 at 12:30 am
ps, re an earlier blog post. I also went to school in Newcastle and some of us tended to knit our cardigans and sew our summer frocks as well . As long as they were small red checked, with a collar etc matching the bought uniform they were accepted. It was good training, and set us up for life.
October 28th, 2013 at 1:57 am
oh my word, if it’s not one thing it’s another with you. You better just stay indoors for a while. I do hope you are healed soon and back to running.
Oh, and make sure you send that block to Valerie not Jennifer! Ha!
October 28th, 2013 at 7:18 am
Oh, poor you. It’s never nice falling down. I generally come a cropper a few times a year round the farm, assisted by an animal or a bit of machinery.
Look after yourself and put something nasty in the family’s food as revenge for their lack of sympathy!
October 28th, 2013 at 10:11 am
Oh I’m sorry Helen. This made me laugh, which is a bit rotten I know. I did much the same when out walking. Too busy talking to hear Gordon shouting mind the hole! Didn’t you know that black n blue is the new black! Hope you feel better soon xxx
October 28th, 2013 at 1:47 pm
Horrible! And the pain lasts longer when you’re older (or seems to)
Things are flying in the air here too. This is a real storm!
Get well soon and otherwise: cheers!
October 28th, 2013 at 4:00 pm
You make a terrible fall sound like a great old time. I sure hope you heal quickly as you have those races and goals to get back to.
October 28th, 2013 at 5:57 pm
Gosh, you really have had a rather painful time lately. My family is a bit like yours, they have no sympathy. Not a bit thing as it get’s you moving again quickly which I believe helps you heal better. I do hope you feel better soon and are able to enjoy the chocolate, gin and Strictly.
October 29th, 2013 at 3:00 pm
It does seem as if there are weeks when you just can’t get ahead – I’m so sorry you’re in the midst of it. Can you at least invent a story involving an archvillan and several large bears to explain the bruises, or look mysterious and just claim you really can’t talk about it when someone asks you what’s new?
October 29th, 2013 at 6:13 pm
God, you are having a seriously crap month!!! Hope you are better soon.
October 30th, 2013 at 2:36 pm
I’ve just had a lovely read back through some of your posts. Blogland baffles me — we have some of the same invisible friends (is there another Nicolette in blogland?) and yet … I’ve missed you. It’s like there are all these underworlds and it’s amazing. Anyway, it sounds as if you’ve had a rough run — it’s a jungle out there! I hope you heal quickly!