Less is most definitely more
Last Christmas I totally overdid it. After decorating the Church on Christmas Eve, Midnight Mass, a full day of cooking the Christmas lunch followed by two more days of cooking for our annual mulled wine and mince pie carol singing party, I ended up (on my birthday no less) in bed for two days with a migraine. Did I enjoy myself up to that point? Well there were times here and there where I could step back and see that things were going well and that everyone seemed happy, but if I’m honest, no I didn’t. Christmas went by in a huge whirl of activity and exhaustion until, finally my body said ‘no’.
This year I’ve learned my lesson, although I have to admit that it hasn’t been very easy and I’ve battled with it all for a while. In the middle of the year I finally handed over my Church Flower Fairy crown – after many, many years and to the distinct displeasure of some older members of the congregation. It was really, really hard to stand up and say ‘no, I don’t want to do this anymore’. Sure in theory I could have carried on, but the whole thing had become a psychological burden to me – and particularly in a church setting I don’t think that is what our service is meant to be about. So, finally, and with deep feelings of guilt, but with a surprisingly light heart, out went the flowers.
This week I finally said ‘no’ to the Christmas party – for this year at least. I know lots of people love to come and sing carols and eat goodies and that some will probably be disappointed, but this year I need a break. It’s awful to think about organizing a party with only a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach – even if my daughter was offering massive amounts of practical help.
So this year it will be a case of much less, but hopefully this will bring us – or me anyway – immeasurably more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not not doing Christmas – but I’m not going to be working full pelt to keep to a detailed time plan. It’s going to be more peaceful, with time to reflect and relax and time to do things on the spur of the moment just because we feel like it. I think now that I’ve made these decisions, that this is how it’s meant to be.
And I can’t tell you how much I’m looking forward to it……
Helen
December 8th, 2010 at 1:50 pm
Good on you Helen – and now that you’ve made those decisions think no more about it (especially no guilty feelings!!!!!) and enjoy the Christmas Season. I’ve really cut back in the years since my mother passed away and it is much more relaxed and meaningful. It certainly looks like Christmas around here – we had over 25 cm of snow and more is in the forecast. Hopefully it will hold off until later this afternoon as our Guild is having its annual Christmas Potluck Luncheon and some of the members have a fairly long drive on open stretches of highway where blowing snow can be treacherous.
December 8th, 2010 at 8:24 pm
Congratulations on putting yourself first – you know, you have to have oxygen before you can help anyone else ;))
December 9th, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Good For You!
When my girls were younger it seemed that whenever I volunteered to take on some task or another for Guild or Church something always came up either preventing me from doing it or making it so much more difficult to fufil my promise. (as a single mom I didn’t have a back up) I very quickly realized that my girls just needed me and that for the years while they are still dependant on me its alright for me to say no or to not raise my hand to offer. I’m hopeful that there will be many years eventually when my time is more my own for sharing.
The Christmas season is such a frenzy for so many that we forget to relax and enjoy the season esp the reason we celebrate.
So no guilty feelings, just enjoy the season!!
December 12th, 2010 at 12:40 pm
OK so here’s what I think about acts of service such as doing the flowers…maybe you giving up is actually a wonderful opportunity for someone else to have a go! I know that my Mum loves doing the church flowers once every couple of months even though she’d be the first to admit that it’s probably not her calling in life.
You’re right not to let traditions become burdens. Just becuase you’ve always done a Christmas party doesn’t mean you always have to. I think you should feel completely free to change things over time. I’m 30 and my Mum still did me a Christmas stocking last year – which I’m almost 100% sure was a complete burden rather than a joy. So I think you’re completely doing the right thing. You can always change your mind next year!